I've been fairly forthright in my opposition to the social justice initiative to normalise Gingerism. I'm a liberal, tolerant person but tolerance has limits and I draw the line at Gingerkind.
To illustrate my personal tolerance thresholds, I believe the burqa should be optional for Muslim women in public spaces but mandatory for Gingas of both genders.
It would be fair to say my opposition to Gingerism isn't entirely intellectual, I admit to a mild prejudice against them. Like a manikin in a department store that moves suddenly or one of those creepy Japanese sex androids, I find the way Gingas mimic Human behaviour unnerving.
Endeavouring to appear human accentuates how unhuman they are.
It would be fair to assume my attitude is well-known within the Gingerkind community, I'm definitely "on their list" somewhere. So you can imagine my surprise when one appeared to do me a favour.
The airport bus doesn't run the length of town any more, thanks to all the roadworks. Instead there's a free shuttle which ferries passengers up to the bus near the intersection with Mayoral Drive. There's a disconnect though: the airport bus runs every 10-15 minutes but the shuttle can be over half an hour.
I was waiting for the shuttle chatting with my friend Brett when a male Ginga accosted us, interrupting our conversation.
"The shuttle is going to be half an hour," it said, blithely exceeding its place in our societal hierarchy.
Instantly suspicious I looked around for other Gingas that might be lurking. There didn't appear to be any.
"Would you like to share my Uber?" it continued.
"Why is this Ginga attempting to lure me into a vehicle?" I thought to myself, fearing a kidnapping attempt. The last thing I want is to be arse up in some medieval Gingerkind lair, trying to persuade a group of Gingas in burqas that sustained sexual violence is not the way forward.
My instinct was to run or to fight but then I thought of my friend Brett: entirely innocent in all this. For his preservation I resigned to sacrifice myself and take one for the team.
"Sure," I replied queasily.
I said goodbye to Brett and got into the Uber with the Ginga. Imagine my relief that the driver was Arabic; dark-haired and swarthy. I was pretty sure he wasn't one of the Ginga's familiars.
When we arrived at Mayoral Drive
I offered to reimburse the Ginga for my share of the fare. It refused, smiled and wished me a good day. And the rest of my journey was thoroughly uneventful.
I'm not sure what to make of all this.
It could be that Gingerkind have adopted a charm offensive as a new public relations policy but I don't think so.
I know them, I know their ways.
Something far more devious is afoot.
-SRA. Auckland, 1/x 2017.
Attribution: The line "..sustained sexual violence is not the way forward." is paraphrased from Peter Capaldi
's dialogue as Malcolm Tucker
in Armando Iannucci
's film 'In the Loop